â€œDumb, for lack of a better word, is bad. Dumb is wrong, dumb doesn't work. But dumb, ladies and gentlemen, is spreading. And some of the dumb are trying to make being dumb profitable.
Fountain plunging idiot Cathy Cruz Marrero is suing the mall that allowed her to fall into its fountain when she was walking while texting. She might also sue the security guards that laughed at the video of her falling into the fountain while texting, because humans in mall security uniforms shouldn't be permitted to laugh at morons.
A moron from New York City is suing a Las Vegas escort service for almost $2 million. This is the aftermath of a very dumb phone call he placed to police complaining that his illegal prostitute ripped him off by having illegal sex with him, but not staying for the full three hours for which he paid. His outrage was understandable. Sure, he got the sex, but he paid good money to watch the hooker who just blew him sit around a shitty hotel bored out of her mind and texting people about the guy with the weird dick that looks like a mini-croissant who is staring right at her. Missing out on that? No wonder he called the cops and got himself in deep shit!
The biggest payday may be coming to a man, let's call him King Moron, who happens to be living in a trailer park in Key West, Florida. He can't spell fucking anything, so he's suing WikiLeaks, and its creepoid-in-chief Julian Assange, for an assortment of grievances including: "indangered the PLAINTIFF as well as every person of the United States; and the entire planet," "suffered serious personan injury," and a "worsening" of "hyper tention." King Moron also has a "fear of being on the brink of Nucliar WAR." He's asking for 150 million "dollors" in damagesâ€¦â€